Cross My Heart Ministry

“I will die in this land;
but you are about to cross over and
take possession of that good land.”
Deuteronomy 4:22

            As Moses was speaking to the people—preparing them to leave the wilderness and move to the land God had promised – he was also saying goodbye.  In many ways, they were his “children” – he had led them, taught them, and listened to them whine for many years! Yet his love for them, like every parent’s love for a child, remained unconditional.

Like we, as parents, he was sending them on to places he would not go – to interact with people he would never meet.  Those child-rearing years are exhausting – physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually.  They stretch us and try us and we realize God uses our children to teach us much of His love and patience with us.  The time seems unending and the days long…until quite suddenly, the years have gone by quickly and, like me, you may find your season of parenting with them living under your roof is almost over.

Coming with the-days-go-by-slow-but-the-years-go-by-fast realization (as the old adage goes), is an urgency for godly parents to prepare our children to go on ahead – to hit the mark and be effective when they do.  Our children will interact with people we will never meet.  They will go places we will never go.  Are they prepared?  Can they defend their faith?  Are they equipped to share the gospel?  Do they love the Word?  We make sure they can run the washing machine, change a tire (if your husband’s an engineer!), and balance a checkbook…but are they equipped to say “NO” to themselves (my litmus test for maturity), to run to Jesus first, and to articulate what they believe and why?

Lord Jesus, let me pour eternal truth, as well as daily life skills into my children.  Holy Spirit, fill and equip each of them as they interact with people I will never meet and go places I will never go.  Let them be powerful and effective for your Kingdom, O God!

“The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord;
he is their stronghold in time of trouble.”
Psalm 37:39

My salvation comes from God. We know God is strong enough and powerful enough – and loving enough – to provide for our eternal salvation. That’s pretty much Christianity 101.  We know that.  We believe that.  We are grateful that our fate for eternity is sealed because of our identity in Christ.

But He is also more than enough to tend to the trouble that comes my way in the day-to-day trials between now and the arrival of eternity.  If I trust Him with eternity…what do I have such a hard time trusting Him with today? If He’s got eternity covered, He can surely handle Tuesday. 

Do I somehow begin to lapse into thinking that eternity is a big deal and Tuesday is not?  Can I believe God may have plans for me today that have eternal significance? What if I began to see each conversation, decision, each opportunity in light of not only its significance for Tuesday…but for eternity?

Perhaps I’ve lapsed into thinking God is so busy keeping the earth spinning on its axis, answering prayers for stage 4 cancer patients, and intervening in marriages a breath away from divorce…that I really shouldn’t bother Him with my Tuesday list.  But this logic seems to minimize God’s very nature. He is all powerful and is unlimited in resources.  Unlike an earthly parent who is forced to allocate time and resources, God’s nature has no limits.  My view of God needs to be bigger.

I have trusted Him with the most important decision of all:  my destiny for eternity.  Well, then, why do I have such a hard time leaning on Him for today’s challenges? I can almost hear my heavenly Father saying, “Laura, I’ve got this.”  And I believe that.  I truly do…but why do my actions say otherwise?

Believing that God can – speaks to my faith in His POWER.
Believing that God will—speaks to my faith in His LOVE.
The power of God coupled with the love of God lets me go through Tuesday (and Wednesday …Thursday …Friday ….) with the confident faith that God not only has taken care of me for eternity, but for the trouble that comes in the meantime.

I know He does.  I believe He can.  Do I walk in confident faith that He will?

My salvation came by an act of faith—a snapshot in time.
“Faithing” is my daily choice to continue to walk with Him daily, trusting Him to provide.  That’s the living video, the evidence of a changed life. My daily “faithing” proves the reality of my salvation.

Jesus, thank you for my salvation. Thank you for being my stronghold for today’s troubles. I choose…again…to trust you for then…and trust you for now.

Those who are with us are more than those with them.
II Kings 6:16

 Elisha’s servant got up early and saw an army of horses and chariots surrounding the city.  Obviously afraid, he asked Elisha,

Oh, my lord, what shall we do?

Like me, you’ve probably asked God that same question—perhaps on more than one occasion.  Maybe it sounded more like this:

OH, MY LORD, WHAT SHALL WE DO?

That question has come from the lips of God’s people (and perhaps, some who become God’s people in a crisis) down through the ages.

The task before us.
The letter before us.
The bank statement.
The medical report.
The meeting I’m about to walk into.
The hardened heart…

When the message or the circumstances are overwhelming and there seems no way out, we can cry out to God:

Lord…what shall we do?

Elisha was a kind and gentle leader and teacher.  In this circumstance he is to be commended as much for what he did not say as for what he did:

He did not criticize his servant.
He did not give into fear himself.
He did not offer spiritual platitudes or instructions.

Eliisa prayed.  And he prayed with confidence:

O, LORD, open his eyes so he may see.

And God was faithful.  He blessed the servant to see what Elisha could either see or knew was there by faith: the army of God surrounded and protected.  The heavenly host was on duty.

Elisha proclaimed with confidence,

Those who are with us are more….

More powerful.
More in number.
More in strength.
More…everything.

Thank you, Jesus, that you are more – more than enough for me, too.

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.”  Proverbs 16:3

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”  Proverbs 16:9

Both verses point to a heart that proclaims:  Thy will be done.

When our hope and trust is in God, we can place today on the altar, step back, breath deep, and trust God.  And then tomorrow… do it again.  One day at a time.  I may not know how it will all work out, but I know Him.  And He is more than enough.

As I stress, think way too much, and ponder the “what if…,” He says, “I’ve got this, Laura.” And He does.  I know He does.  Why oh why, then, do I so often snatch it right back?

There is great peace that comes in praying, “Thy will….”  And there is such great uneasiness, anxiety, and frenzied panic when I try to work it out (or worry it out) on my own.

Jesus, thank you for the serene, calming, peace, blessed assurance that comes in trusting you.  I commit (again) my life, my children, my marriage, my ministry, my friendships, my home, my finances – all to you.  I ask you to determine my steps today. I (once again) resolve to commit all that I do to You.

But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron,
“Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them.”
Numbers 20:12

I’ve read Numbers 20 many, many times over the years and each time I’m left with a nagging sense of feeling like Moses got a bad rap. (pun intended).

After all, who could blame him for finally losing it?  He was given a bunch of whiners (too big to spank) to lead through the wilderness.  They were complainers, they were ungrateful, and they were quick to blame Moses—never acknowledging his many sacrifices and intercessions on their behalf.

Today it occurs to me – if I place the rationalization for my behavior in the context of horizontal relationships, I can always justify my sin:

• I’m not as bad as so and so….
• Well….she didn’t do what I asked….
• He started it!
• Am I supposed to just take it…?

Moses was able to extend grace to those people so long and so repeatedly because his focus was vertical – it was firmly fixed on God.

Once we go horizontal, we lose our anchor, our lock-in on the target, we spin out of control (I know at this point you are asking, “Geez…how many metaphors can she possibly squeeze into one sentence?!)

Like David, Moses’ sin was against God Himself.  Moses allowed his (justified) anger with people to trump the holy respect and awe that must be given to God.

How many times, I wonder, has my assignment been to speak, but I chose to strike?

• …when I disciplined a child in anger?
• …when I allowed emotion to trump logic in a disagreement with my husband?
• …when I allowed a conversation to spiral downward to gossip and maligning someone’s character?

To speak and not strike requires a filling of the Spirit, a settled assurance that God sees my plight. A trust that He will work this out – defend my cause, bring about resolution, and restore what is broken.

To speak is a manifestation of the Spirit.  Spirit-inspired words are laced with the fruit of the Spirit:  love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

This is such a huge challenge when I have been wronged…or even more so when my child has been wronged. When someone else is clearly culpable, I have “license” for righteous indignation.  Oh, how we love to be right! It’s so easy to charge ahead with an entitlement to make the call, write the letter, get someone told – to roll in like a steam roller and flatten everyone in our path.

Sometimes we even resort to name calling like Moses in Numbers 20:10, “Listen, you rebels…”

Sometimes, I, too, just want to strike.  I feel entitled to strike.  I want desperately to strike.  I feel that I’ll blow a gasket if I don’t strike.  (An image comes to mind at this point of my mom’s pressure canner filled with seven quarts of green beans, the little knob on top jiggling away excitedly.)

God alone must be my release valve.  He can and will deal with my pressurized emotions if I come to Him.  He will always enable me to do what He calls (or NOT do what He has not called me to do!) This is especially true when every fiber in my being wants desperately to set someone straight (or as my mama used to say, “Jerk a knot in someone’s tail!”)

If God says to strike, then strike.  But if God says speak, we’d best be laying down the stick.

I was blessed to spend a great week enjoying God’s creation in Estes Park, Colorado.  Such breathtaking beauty – our Creator displays His power and creativity there in a mighty way.

Rocky Mountain National Park’s Trail Ridge Road is closed during the winter months, but opened up on our last day there, the Friday of Memorial Day weekend.

Climbing 4000 feet, we saw the temperature drop 25 degrees, as we were treated to Rocky Mountain views that seemed more like a canvas painted by an artist than reality.  Splendor! Awesome! Majestic! I really can’t find words to describe the magnificence.  We drove above tree line, as each new view brought more delight.

We stayed on Trail Ridge Road all the way to Milner Pass, the Continental Divide.  I’m pictured here standing at the point where water must make a choice:  Pacific or Atlantic?  This is the line of separation:  water either flows west into the Colorado River, eventually reaching the Gulf of California and the Pacific Ocean….or it flows east to the Platte River and then on into the Missouri and Mississippi Rivers, eventually reaching the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic Ocean.

It occurred to me as I stood there that Jesus makes it clear that we, too, must make a choice.  Just as water cannot remain forever at Milner Pass, we, too, must choose.  Jesus made this clear:

“He who is not with me is against me…”
Luke 11:23a

Am I for Him or against Him?  Am I choosing my own way or His way?

I’ve learned that this is a daily, continual decision.  Choosing Him yesterday does not count for today’s choices.  I’ve also learned that no real satisfaction, joy, or contentment can be found apart from Him.

Jesus, I choose You for this day. Help me to flow with You, as you lead.  I don’t know the details or what lies ahead, but I know You.  And You are more than enough.