Cross My Heart Ministry

My eyes stay open through the watches of the night,
that I may meditate on your promises.
Psalm 119:148

Insomnia.

We’ve all struggled at one time or another with a sleepless night or two. Too much caffeine, too much noise from the neighbors, or a too-long to do list. The reasons are many.  Sometimes there is no reason.

We can make ourselves do many things: get up every morning, cook dinner, grade math, pay bills, do laundry. But we can’t make ourselves sleep—in fact, the very process of trying to force sleep can produce adrenaline that does just the opposite—and difficulty sleeping is not unusual. According to the American Sleep Association, “Insomnia is the most common specific sleep disorder, with short term issues reported by about 30% of adults and chronic insomnia by 10%.”

Insomnia used to bring frustration. Rather than wasting time trying to sleep, I would hurl myself out of bed and balance the checkbook, grade some papers, or clean a bathroom. No point squandering awake time. (Type A much?)

But as I’ve grown older—and, hopefully, a skosh a wiser—I’ve learned to just embrace the awake time with peace and prayer. The stillness and darkness of the night coupled with the absence of sound and visual images, means my heart can be more attuned to my Lord.

I begin with praise. I regale His character traits. You are El Shaddai, God Almighty … all powerful, unchanging, strong, capable, solid, forceful, you are the boss! You are El Roi, God who sees me. You see everything that is happening in my life. You are Immanuel, God with us.  You are not just the God of “up there” but the God of “down here.” Because you have walked this earth in human form, you know how this feels.

I remember God’s promises and remind Him (and myself) of each as they come to mind:

• You promised to be with me always. (Matthew 28:20)
• You came to give abundant life. (John 10:10)
• You promised to equip me to do what you call me to do. (I Thessalonians 5:24)
• You promised to provide the harvest if I don’t give up. (Galatians 6:9)
• You promised to do exceedingly and abundantly more than I can ask or imagine—and I have a big imagination! (Ephesians 3:20)
• You promised to trade with me – my worry for Your peace. (Philippians 4:6-7)

Sometimes, I ask Him, “Who should I pray for, Jesus?” Often, of course, that means praying down the list of my precious ones: my hubby, the children, their spouses, my three beautiful GRANDdaughters. Then my mind wanders in freedom. In the darkness, I’m not limited by a church prayer list or a bullet list from an email. I can pray as the Lord leads. We are in tandem; He leads, I follow. It’s precious and peaceful, an unhindered and unbridled approach to prayer.

My eyes may be open, but my heart is praying.

In this week’s video devotional is the last in our series from II Kings. What a rich, yet challenging, study it has been! We hope you’ll enjoy these final words from Laura.

Have you missed any of the weekly videos in the II Kings series? You can find the entire playlist HERE. And if you have not yet subscribed to our YouTube channel, we would be honored if you’d do so! It’s free for anyone with a Gmail account, and a great way to show your support for the ministry of Cross My Heart.

Watch this week for the newest Write the WORD bookmark
& S.O.A.P. study pages. Our May focus: PRAYER.

God created a beautiful garden for the crown of His creation—man, created in God’s own image, and his wife, a helpmate suitable for the man.

He gave them complete freedom:  You are free to eat from any tree in the garden… [Genesis 2:16]

He gave them only one rule to keep: …but you must not eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die. [Genesis 2:17]

Only one rule to keep and so much good to enjoy. And yet, they couldn’t do it.

I was around seven when I lost a tooth and my PaPa Charlie told me, “If you can keep from poking your tongue in the hole, a gold tooth will grow in where you lost that one.” My eyes grew big … but less than ten minutes later I had forfeited my college nest egg.

He grinned and said, “You couldn’t do it, could you?”

Red-faced, embarrassed, I shook my head no.

And that’s what sin also does: it leaves us shamed and robs us of something good. It often sends us into hiding.

Adam and Eve only made it a single chapter before breaking that one rule. When God confronted them, they followed their shame game with the blame game: Adam blamed Eve (that woman) and even God (that woman YOU gave me), and Eve blamed the serpent.

The human tendency to blame someone else and refuse to take personal responsibility has made many lawyers fat and many souls lean.

How’s your soul? When the Holy Spirit convicts, do you play the blame game? Does today find you lugging around the heavy burden of shame? Are you growing weary of hiding it, stuffing it, and trying to contain it?

Sin has a way of stripping us of our identity, our freedom, our dignity. Sin robs us of our future. It marginalizes our present. It brings disgrace from our past. No fig leaf can cover all that.

We work hard to keep anyone from knowing … but God knows. And He chose to do something about it:

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

He provided—and still continues to provide—for us in the person of Jesus. He also provided for Adam and Eve following that first sin:

The LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them.
Genesis 3:21

He gave them animal skin clothes to cover their nakedness. A living thing had to die to cover the shame brought by their sin.

The sacrificial system of the Old Testament was bloody. And it was unending because sin was unending. Sin continued, so sacrifice to cover sin was required. Reading through Leviticus—all the rules and regulations for what to kill and how to kill it and what to do with the blood after—brings a touch of distaste, a bit of confusion, perhaps (if we’re honest) even boredom, but it surely should prompt gratitude that we live this side of the cross.

We couldn’t keep the one rule. We can’t keep God’s Top Ten. But thankfully, because of Jesus, the Old Testament sacrificial system has ended. He became the “once and for all sacrifice” for each one of us. Our identity in Christ means we get what He has (righteousness) and He took what we have (sin).

What a trade.

What a Savior.

Today, as we ponder Christ’s great sacrifice and His forever triumph over sin, aren’t you grateful that getting right with God doesn’t require going to the market?

As we celebrate Resurrection Sunday,
my prayer is that you have come to know and love the One
whose sacrifice has saved us, once and for all,
from the eternal consequences of sin.

He is risen.

He is risen, indeed.

In this week’s devotional video, Laura reflected on the high price Jesus paid for our salvation. We invite you to consider these thoughts today, as we celebrate His resurrection.

They took palm branches and went out to meet him, shouting,
“Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”
“Blessed is the King of Israel!”
John 12:13

Today is Palm Sunday, the beginning of Holy Week—Super Bowl week, if you will, for followers of Christ. The week we celebrate the ultimate victory: life over death! Love wins out!

Our English word Hosanna came over from the original Greek word in the New Testament, Hosanna. And that Greek word came from an original Hebrew phrase, Hoshiya na.  The original Hebrew meaning was Save! or Save, please! But through the years the meaning has shifted to mean, Salvation has come!

As the crowd welcomed Jesus into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, they praised Him as their Savior and acknowledged Him as the King of Israel. Every word they uttered was true, but they attached their own connotation. Their expectation of a Messiah and King fell short of what Jesus delivered. Their hope was not big enough, their adoration not high enough: they hoped only for an earthly king and a hero to conquer Rome, but Jesus was an eternal king who came to conquer death.

John gave them a heads up in John 1:29 —

“Behold! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!”

His words should have stirred their hearts and minds to think of Passover and to recognize Jesus as the once-and-for-all sacrifice for the sin of the world.

As followers of Christ, familiarity with this truth can blind us to its magnificence, but I hope you will take some time this week to marvel. Ponder the awesome truth that God became man, took the penalty we deserved by dying a sinner’s death, and then supernaturally came back to life.

Take some time to thank Jesus for loving you like no one else ever has or ever will. He knows everything about you. He knows you better than your mom or dad, your spouse, and your best friend. All that junk you would like to hide, erase, or forget about … He knows it and He still loves you. And He died for you, mess and all.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8 (NIV)

Acknowledge your gratitude that He cared enough to “cut in.”

He loves you. He died for you.

When Judgement Day comes, Jesus will be the judge of all:

Moreover, the Father judges no one,
 but has entrusted all judgment to the Son.
John 5:22 (NIV)

As those who have placed our faith in Him, we can come to that day with confidence, rather than fear. All will bow to Him, but we will bow to Him as our Savior rather than our judge. Our identity in Him means we are clothed in His righteousness, rather than the filthy rags of our own sin.

Because of the gospel, we have hope for eternity on that day, and we can live in peace and joy on this day.

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith,
 we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,
 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace
in which we now stand.
 And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.
Romans 5:1-2

As we celebrate Easter, we rejoice in serving a risen Savior.

As we look to the future, we rest in our confident hope for eternity.

If you follow along with our monthly Write the Word series, we have chosen to focus on LAMB verses during April. My prayer is that dwelling on these verses has filled  your heart and mind with hope because of Jesus—the Lamb of God and the risen Savior.

Hosanna! Thank you, Jesus! Salvation has come!

This week’s Bible study found us in II Kings, chapter 20-22. We hope you’ll be encouraged to hear Laura teach about the growth and transformation of King Hezekiah!

Tell the whole community of Israel that on the tenth day of this month
each man is to take a lamb for his family, one for each household…

Take care of them until the fourteenth day of the month,
when all the members of the community of Israel
must slaughter them at twilight.
Then they are to take some of the blood
and put it on the sides and tops of the doorframes of the houses
where they eat the lambs…

On that same night I will pass through Egypt
and strike down every firstborn of both people and animals,
and I will bring judgment on all the gods of Egypt.
I am the LORD.
 The blood will be a sign for you on the houses where you are,
and when I see the blood, I will pass over you.
No destructive plague will touch you when I strike Egypt.
Exodus 12:3, 6-7, 12-13

The book of Exodus chronicles the story of God freeing His people from bondage in Egypt. But it’s a narrative that tells a larger story—one that resonates for all of us, for all time.

Egypt represents sin and bondage. We are all held captive by our own sin … all in “Egypt” in one way or another: pride, selfishness, anger, lust, greed, idolatry, adultery, gossip, hatred, lying, stealing, cheating, gluttony, ad infinitum.  The list is endless, and no amount of striving, working, getting up early, staying up late, reading a new book, or finding the right therapist can release us from the grip of sin.

Sin owns us. But God wants to free us.

Freedom for the Israelites came on Passover night. Exodus 12 instructed each family to take a lamb, then to take care of it. They were to bring it into their home. The family would get to know it as they loved it, fed it, cared for it—and when it came time to slit the throat of that animal and smear its blood over the door frame, it would be difficult. The lamb was real. It was known. The act of taking its life would be very personal … exponentially more difficult than going to the marketplace and purchasing an unknown lamb.

God’s instructions were clear: The blood must be there on Passover night for that family to be protected when the angel of the Lord would pass over.

By an act of faith, the Israelites believed God.

By an act of faith, the Israelites painted their doorframes red with the blood of their beloved lamb.

Their faith resulted in their salvation; they were set free from bondage. Their exodus to freedom is recorded in Exodus 12:51.

The Old Testament sacrificial system required something to die for someone to live. Hebrews 9:22 confirms, “…without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness…”

Sin must be atoned.

Death would bring life.

Sobering thoughts, but as we prepare our hearts for Easter, we must reflect solemnly on our sin, so we can celebrate the One who died to save us from it. Jesus, our Passover Lamb, freed us from ourselves.

Is His blood painted over the door of your heart?

When judgment day comes, will the angel of the Lord pass over you—not because your list has been fixed by you, but because Jesus blotted it out by his blood?

I’m praying that thoughts of our Passover Lamb prompt sobering thoughts and transforming conversations for you and your family, as you prepare your hearts for Easter this year.

This week, the II Kings Bible study focuses on King Hezekiah, one of the final kings—and one of the few good kings—of the southern kingdom of Judah. We invite you to watch today as Laura shares three important lessons we can learn from the life of Hezekiah.

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers, but his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
Psalm 1:1-2

The Psalmist makes it clear: blessing comes when we steer clear of sin. The refusal to walk, stand, or sit with the wicked, with sinners, and with mockers brings blessing – or “happiness many times over.”

As children of God, we are not immune to captivity. Even though our hope for eternity is secure, we can be enslaved on earth. Are you imprisoned to habits, lifestyles, or behaviors that not only fail to honor God, but bring hopelessness and shame to you?

Finding freedom is a process that begins with acknowledging we are in chains. Whatever we stubbornly hold onto will eventually hold onto us.

Liberty is possible. We have hope. Galatians 5:1 says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

Turning from a course that leads away from God means adjusting course to follow God. As we reject sin, we create room in our lives and in our hearts. Choosing to seek God will take us to His Word. That choice may begin as a “have to,” but I’m convinced our immersion will move us to “want to” and even “delight to.”

Your bondage may be an addiction to food, alcohol, or another substance. Maybe your hangup is trashy novels or trashy talk. It might be a critical spirit, a controlling attitude, laziness, love of money, or unbridled anger. Whatever enslaves us also prevents us from living for more – from living the life of blessing God has for us.

When we are finally sick and tired of being soul sick and tired of trying, He is ready to meet us. Like the prodigal son, when we are ready to come home to our father, He awaits – ready to welcome, to bless, and to love us.

Our transformation comes through His strength and not our own. We rest in His promises as we immerse ourselves in His Word. We choose to believe Him rather than the voice of condemnation whispering in our ear.

He has set us free. “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36

As we reject sin by removing ourselves from its presence, being mindful of where we walk, stand, and sit, we begin to turn the rudder of our heart back to God.

But our hearts are not vacuums. They were meant to be filled. Jesus cautioned that kicking out one evil spirit without filling up the space with something else leaves us vulnerable for that one to come back with seven more in tow. As we allow God to have His way, as we give Him full access to our hearts, as we place ourselves in the right place, away from sin and in His presence, freedom comes. Sin’s ties are loosened. We are renewed day by day. His presence and His power bring freedom and blessing. We are empowered to live with purpose and on purpose, day by day.

My “have tos” are transformed to “want tos.” I find myself actually delighting in His Word, and embracing my quiet time that was once boring and tedious. I now have freedom to live fully and completely in Him. Freedom to live loved and live blessed.

As children of God, we were created for more. Why live marginalized and compromised when we can live free? Why live with less when He has more?

As we prepare our hearts to celebrate Christ’s resurrection in just a few weeks, I would invite you to examine your heart and ask yourself: What choice is He prompting me to make today to live whole, free, and blessed?

It’s spring break in Northwest Arkansas, but even though the women’s Bible study didn’t meet, Laura recorded a special devotional for this week. Hope you enjoy these thoughts on the “high places” mentioned repeatedly in the Old Testament, and how God’s commandment for dealing with them applies to our lives today.