Cross My Heart Ministry

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy…
Galatians 5:22

Joy is number two on the Holy Spirit’s top nine list.  We often use “joy” and “happy” interchangeably, but they are vastly different:

• Happy is temporary; joy is eternal.
• Happy is circumstance dependent; joy transcends circumstances.
• Happy can be baked, bought, and driven; joy only comes from the Holy Spirit.

Nothing wrong with an apple pie, new pair of shoes, or shiny sports car. But those things are temporary. The new car smell fades, the apple pie is eaten (or gets buried in the fridge and goes bad), and I inevitably wear the heels off my new shoes. We can appreciate and enjoy good things, but we don’t need to settle for them. As women of God, there is more – so much more!

When we chase after joy, we need not be held hostage by our emotions. An overdue bill can’t rob us of joy, and we can stay out of the ring when angry people or defiant children want to go twelve rounds.

Joy calms our spirits in a way that can only come from the Holy Spirit.

If you are writing along with us this October and November, you’ll encounter some familiar verses on joy – but taking the time to write them out and think them through prompts contemplation and consideration.

Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD;
let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.
Psalm 95:1

Our salvation is cause for great joy. No matter how long we have known Jesus, our identity in Him should prompt grateful praise and shouts of joy. Have you taken time this week (month? year?) to be amazed again that the creator of the universe loves you and died for you?

Your statutes are my heritage forever;
they are the joy of my heart.
Psalm 119:111

What a blessing to see His statues not as rules to be kept, but blessings to be enjoyed. Our sanctification brings this transformative thinking.

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.
Now remain in my love.
If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love,
just as I have kept my Father’s commands
and remain in his love.
I have told you this so that my joy may be in you
and that your joy may be complete.
John 15:9-11

Do you see how love dovetails with joy? As we abide in God’s love, choosing to keep His commands is a natural result. We live in that sweet spot of want to, letting go of the have to. Our heavenly Father knows that obedience to Him releases the blessing of complete joy in our lives.

You have made known to me the paths of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence.
Acts 2:28

Nothing else satisfies like the blessed assurance that comes from being in His presence. Joy!

May the God of hope fill you
with all joy and peace as you trust in him,
so that you may overflow with hope
by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13

The more we abide in Him, the more peace and joy begin to define us. We live on earth with an eye toward heaven. A daily awareness that my true identity is in Him and my true citizenship is in heaven brings a heart overflowing with hope.

I have no greater joy than to hear
that my children are walking in the truth.
III John 4

I’ve often used this verse to declare praise to God when I see my children (and grandchildren) making godly choices. But perhaps it also represents God’s own joy when He sees us as His children walking the light of His truth. Are we giving Him great joy with our actions, attitudes, thoughts and behaviors today?

Are you ready to set your sights higher than happy … and allow JOY to fill you?

Don’t forget to download this month’s Write the WORD bookmark
& begin writing along with us as we explore what Scripture tells us
about the Fruit of the Spirit.

In this week’s teaching video, Mollie Duddleston from Cross Church shared this important message: Do not lose heart, because God’s glory is at stake! We invite you to watch as Molly reminds us of this truth from God’s Word.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love.
Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.
I John 4:16

What does it look like to “live in love” … and how does that help us “live in God?”

Is it significant that love is the very first trait listed when Paul described the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22?  

So many questions begin swirling when we ponder that word, love. In our before-Jesus life, we might have described it like a passionate teenager or an excitable child: I love pizza! I love music! I love Minecraft! But as we grow in Christ, we come to realize it is much more than a feeling, and requires more than an emotional response.  

Love is often a choice. A commitment. When you and I choose to live in love, we are living in God. The result of doing so? We’ll be faced with some decisions that require self-sacrifice.

If the Spirit is producing fruit in my life, I may be prompted to: 

• Change my schedule.
  Today may be laundry day, but instead I may choose to have coffee with a hurting friend.
• Study my family.
  My child may need a little one-on-one time. Instead of pushing her to do Algebra homework or clean her room, maybe I need to take her out for ice cream. And how long has it been since you’ve set aside your to-do list in favor of a date night with your hubby?
• Reconsider my commitments.
  Have I filled my schedule with so many obligations, there’s no time to lovingly respond when needs arise with friends, neighbors, or my church family? Leaving time in our schedule provides flexibility to be available.
• Pray over my motivations.
  Have I signed up to do things out of guilt or obligation, rather than a Spirit-led prompting to obedience?
• Have some difficult conversations.
  In our roles as parents, grandparents, friends, leaders, teachers, or mentors, living in love might call for accountability, discipline, and correction. Galatians 6:1 prompts us to restore one another gently.
• Make abiding in Him a daily priority.
  If  I’m living in God, it is imperative to live in His Word. He must fill me up so I can be ready to pour out.
• Die to myself.
  John 15:13 tells us there is no greater demonstration of love than to lay down one’s life.  We may not be called to die physically, but at some point, every woman — whether a wife, mother, aunt, grandmother, daughter, granddaughter, sister, or friend — will be called to die to herself spiritually, mentally, or emotionally. It’s a sign of maturity when we choose to do so.  

As we grow and mature in Christ, love will begin to lead out, prompting changes in our words, attitudes, actions, motivations, and behaviors. Yielding more and more to God gives us both peace and purpose. Love begins to flow forth, transforming even our “good” moments (kind words, agreeable thoughts, virtuous acts) into something more: the natural result of living in God. 

Are you living in God and in His love … or just camping out there occasionally?

How is God prompting you to live in love today?

Would you like to read and study along with us?
Visit our Downloads page for your own copy of our October bookmark…
and don’t forget the printable S.O.A.P. study guide!

When you see red, luscious fruit hanging from the branch, you know you’re looking at an apple tree. The same is true for peaches and every other fruit-producing plant. And, as followers of Jesus with the Spirit dwelling in us, the Fruit of the Spirit should also be evident in our lives.

This fall, we’ll be focusing on the nine traits that the apostle Paul identified as evidence of the Spirit’s influence in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, , gentleness, and self-control. During October and November, we’ll be writing out six verses for each of these nine traits.

As you write, we encourage you to prayerfully consider how the Holy Spirit is helping you to grow and mature in each of these areas. We invite you to watch this week’s devotional video, as Laura introduces our October bookmark, with its focus on the Fruit of the Spirit.

As iron sharpens iron,
so one person sharpens another.
Proverbs 27:17

The expression “peer pressure” certainly carries a negative connotation. Secular and non-secular studies alike have confirmed the impact (particularly during adolescence) of peers. Teenagers, when influenced by their friends, are far more vulnerable to substance abuse, reckless behavior, bullying, and a host of other things that are potentially life-altering.  

As conscientious Christian parents and grandparents, we may try to postpone the timing of those influences … but please don’t ever assume you can avoid them altogether. And please don’t assume that another teen is godly, simply because he or she was raised in a godly family (to the best of your knowledge).  

When children are young, the adults in their lives control their relationships. We choose who they play with, what they do, and where they go. And to a certain extent—especially when the adults are very engaged with the kids—that can continue into adolescence.

But at some point, we need to hand them the reins. Only parents can decide when is the right time for that to happen. It will be a decision not only unique to each family, but perhaps to each child.  

If we are devoted to teaching and training their hearts, our focus will be to prepare them to make good choices for themselves and help them understand how they can do that. It’s easy to build high walls and keep them in place until a child turns 18 … but what happens then?  

As a mother of four adults, I’m a long-time advocate of communication early on. Ask your children and grandchildren what makes a good friend. Role play with questions like, “What would you do if ___?” Using “worst case scenario” tools, empower them for as many situations as you can imagine. Explain some of your own poor choices (or those you have witnessed in others) as a warning. Pray. Talk. Share.  

We must prepare the children in our sphere of influence to make wise choices in friends. We must also challenge them to be a positive influence upon others.

Here are a few questions that come to mind for discussion with the children you love: 

1. What qualities make for a good friend? 
2. Who is your best friend and why? 
3. What would you do if a friend wanted you to watch or do something that made you feel uncomfortable? 
4. What did Joseph do when he was in an uncomfortable situation? (See Genesis 39) 
5. Did I ever tell you about the time …? 

Each passing year is one less we have to be a daily, primary influence upon these young souls that God has placed in our lives. Ultimately, we hope and pray it is the voice of the Holy Spirit they choose to heed above all. But we know that peers will also influence their lives, attitudes, and behaviors.

If they choose well, peer pressure can be a profoundly positive influence in the life of a child.  

Lord, I pray for my children and grandchildren, and for their friends.
I pray You would raise up a generation of Christ followers
who love You and love Your Word.
I pray the children in my life would choose their confidants well.
I pray You would hedge them in from the wrong friends
and steer them to those who will be a positive influence –
that they would mutually encourage each other to live for You,
always and in all ways.
May iron sharpen iron in all their relationships.
Amen.

In this week’s II Corinthians study, Laura shares thoughts on forgiveness (inspired by II Corinthians 2: 5-11). We invite you to watch this week’s devotional video, in which she asks three questions:

1. What is forgiveness?
2. Why should we forgive?
3. How can we forgive?

We hope Laura’s teaching on this passage will be a blessing on your life.

We hope you will listen to this week’s video, pray over the content, and then humbly ask the Lord who He is calling you to forgive. It takes courage to ask God for a forgiveness assignment … just as we’ll need the power of the Holy Spirit to follow through when He answers.

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart,
with all your soul,
and with all your strength.
Deuteronomy 6:5

Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with
all your heart,
with all your soul, and
with all your mind.’
Matthew 22:37

 All means ALL!

When we pray that the children in our lives would love God wholeheartedly, it means ALL IN. Not half-way, not half-heartedly, and not Sundays only.

When a mama asks her teenager to take out the trash, she doesn’t expect to see the trash sitting by the front door. It must make it all the way to the curb.

When a wife wants a faithful husband, she doesn’t mean 364 days a year – she expects 365 (and some years 366)!

And when God commands us to love Him with ALL our heart, soul, mind, and strength, we need to apply the same high standard. ALL IN!

As we pray for the children in our sphere of influence to love God wholeheartedly, we can also ask God to reveal where we ourselves might be holding out.

Here are some questions we can ask as we pray for the children in our lives (and for ourselves):

• Do I have a divided heart? Is there anything I treasure more than God?
• Do I find myself praying without ceasing – having on ongoing conversation with God throughout my day?
• Does God enter my thought life on Tuesday morning or Friday afternoon?
• Do I ask God about what I buy, read, and watch?
• Has Sunday morning worship become an optional activity? Am I finding reasons (I don’t feel like braving the rain, there’s a mountain of dirty laundry, I’m in the middle of a great book and can’t wait to finish it) not to gather with other believers?
• Do I give God the first and best of each day?
• Do I speak up when others speak poorly of my God?
• Do my posts, tweets, and social media comments indict me as a woman of God?
• Do thoughts about God in my mind and heart make their way into my conversations with others?

I hope one or more of these questions convict you as they do me. Perhaps they could even prompt a loving-God-wholeheartedly conversation with your child, grandchild, nephew or niece, a student in your class or church, or a young person in your neighborhood.

Lord God, I pray this child would put You on the throne of his/her life each day and every day. I pray this would be deliberate, conscious, daily choice.  I pray he/she would love You most and best and with a wholehearted devotion.

In this week’s teaching lecture from our II Corinthians Bible study, Laura drilled down on II Corinthians 1:3-11, with a focus on suffering. As believers, we will encounter difficult circumstances. And when we do, we may struggle with hard question: Does God see my pain? Does He care? Why doesn’t He stop my suffering — or simply prevent it in the first place?

As you watch this week’s devotional, we pray you are encouraged as you consider how our great God can use the suffering we experience for our benefit.

If you live in Northwest Arkansas or Northeast Oklahoma, we invite you to join our in-person Bible study on Wednesday mornings in Siloam Springs, AR. Reach out through our Contact form for more information about how you can gather with us this fall!

“…give thanks in all circumstances;
for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
I Thessalonians 5:18 [NIV]

When our oldest was only one year old, after prompting by our pastor, I began to pray for a thankful heart in my child. I continued this prayer as we added each additional child. Four kids – and three grandchildren – later, I’m still praying for thankful Macfarlan hearts.

“Why thankfulness?” you may ask.

The first (or most obvious) response might be the blessing released to others. That is true. And that is important. Others are blessed when we express gratitude.

But I’m also convinced that thankfulness is a blessing to the one releasing it. Thankfulness protects against entitlement, materialism, and selfishness … all dangerous to the character of children. The 21^st-century culture of our western world makes them vulnerable to “me-ism” – I’m convinced entitlement, materialism, and selfishness are the default, but our prayers can combat these society norms. We are up against entrenched attitudes, human nature, and even commercials and advertisements. The world will corrupt and entice all of us to make it all about us.

It’s natural (and easy) to make it all about self in this world. But never underestimate the power of a praying mom – or grandmother, or aunt, Sunday School teacher, youth leader, coach, godparent, or anyone else who has influence in a young life! We can best fight the culture on our knees. And we can train up the young people we love to live selfless in a “selfie” world.

As we consider praying for thankful children, consider these prayer prompts:

• Lord, give my child a thankful heart. (I Thessalonians 5:18)
• Jesus, let my child see that every good gift comes down from above. (James 1:17)
• God, I pray my child would intentionally release thankfulness to others.
• Holy Spirit, I pray our family would be thankful in “all circumstances” – by faith, believing that You can and will work all things out for our good and for Your glory. (Romans 8:28)

As we pray, we can also put feet to our prayers by taking these practical steps to teach thankfulness to our children, grandchildren, and the other young people in our lives:

1. Do not overindulge in “stuff” but show love in creative ways. Whenever possible, give experiences and time, instead of things.
2. Choose at least one night per week to pray “Thank you” prayers. Rather than asking God for something, take turns thanking Him for what He has already done for the blessings of the day. Teach them to pray thank-you prayers for big and small things:
   “God, thank you for the tulips popping through in the flower bed and reminding us that spring is coming.”
   “Jesus, thank you for the baby growing in Aunt Denise’s tummy.”
   “Holy Spirit, thank you for our fun afternoon in the park.”
3. Train a child to respond with thankfulness:
   1. Write thank you notes together with preschoolers—allowing them to add their names to the note with your help.
   2. For elementary-aged kids, encourage them to be conscientious about writing thank you notes to their teacher, coach, and/or sponsor for their soccer team.
   3. Train teenagers to write thank you notes before cashing the check from grandma and grandpa.
4. Model thankfulness. Most character traits are more “caught than taught,” as I’ve heard Dr. James Dobson say on many occasions.
   1. Sit down together to write thank you notes after Christmas.
   2. Let them hear you intentionally thank your pastor for his teaching on Sunday morning.
   3. Thank them for big and small things when you see and hear them get it right:
      “Thank you for helping your brother.”
      “Thank you for carrying in the groceries for your grandmother.”
      “Thank you for making your bed without being asked.”
5. When dining out, ask to speak to the manager and enjoy seeing his/her face transform from dread to delight when you say, “Our family had such a great meal this evening. Thank you for the good food and excellent service.” (On the way home, explain that people always complain when someone gets it wrong, but it’s important to express our thanks when they get it right!)

The importance of thankfulness was a thread woven through the teaching of Dr. Jonathan Burnham, my wise and godly pastor in the early nineties. Over and again, his preaching emphasized the theme of thankfulness. Even after moving out of state, that emphasis continued to resonate in my heart and be a priority in my prayers.

All these years later, I give glory to God as I see thankfulness demonstrated in the lives of my children. The thank you notes I have received from them are treasures to keep. They are tangible reminders that, while I did many things wrong, perhaps consistent training in gratitude was one thing I did right.

Whether you are praying thankfulness into your children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews, students, or the kids who live across the street or sit in the pew behind you – I hope you will pray. And I hope that we can all see our society truly transformed by an “attitude of gratitude.”

Our September ‘Write the WORD’ bookmark and S.O.A.P. study pages
can be found on our Downloads page. Won’t you join us in reading, writing,
and studying God’s WORD this month?

This week, Laura kicked off our fall Bible study of II Corinthians by exploring the history, geography, and people of Corinth. Then, she guided us in a look at the apostle Paul, who planted the church in Corinth.

This fall, Laura’s teaching videos will be published each Friday for those who wish to study virtually, but if you live in Northwest Arkansas or Northeast Oklahoma, we would love for you to study with us in person on Wednesday mornings in Siloam Springs!

If you have questions or are interesting in a study guide, please use our Contact form to reach out for more information!

“…and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures,
which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith
which is in Christ Jesus.”
II Timothy 3:15

Paul is writing to Timothy, his spiritual son. (He refers to him in I Timothy 1:2 as “my true son in the faith.”) Thanks to the faith of his mother and grandmother, Timothy knew about God and knew the Scriptures from an early age.

But, of course, God has no grandchildren. At some point, Timothy believed for himself (II Timothy 1:5). He accepted the gift of salvation that comes by grace through faith.

Like Lois and Eunice, Timothy’s mother and grandmother, we can ensure the young people around us know the Word. We can take them to church to hear the Word. We can play Christian music and buy them Christian books. But, of course, none of that will save them. They must come to sincere faith in Christ on their own.

We can do everything within our power to make sure the children in our lives know the truth—and then each must choose to bend their knee to Jesus.

Perhaps you are a woman who did not come to faith yourself until your adult years. Maybe you have adult children that have rejected your faith. Do not let the enemy rob you of peace and joy for today. Do not take on illegitimate guilt. The past is done … confess anything you need to confess, receive His forgiveness (I John 1:9) and then move on! Forgive yourself, sister friend!

Choose today to pray. Pray intentionally and unceasingly for the “children” in your sphere of influence, whether they are infants, young kids, adolescents, or adults. If there is life, there is hope. Pray and keep on praying!

Lord God Almighty, thank You for the gift of salvation! Jesus, thank You for the magnitude of Your great love demonstrated at the Cross and the unmatched strength of Your mighty power demonstrated by Your resurrection. O God, thank You for loving me enough to die for me. Let this young person in my life see that you love her and died for her, too. Convict her of sin. Draw her to yourself. Overwhelm her today with Your great love. Let today be her day of salvation!

Laura recorded this week’s devotional video in beautiful Asheville, NC, while attending a five-day Bible intensive. Inspired by the beautiful mountains, she was reminded of several passages where important things happened on mountains – including Matthew 28:16  (a passage we know as the Great Commission) in which the disciples obediently went to the mountain to meet Jesus. We invite you to watch this week’s video and be challenged to go to the mountain to meet Jesus each day!

Please be sure to visit our Downloads page for your own copy of this month’s Write the WORD bookmark, optional S.O.A.P. pages, our monthly ‘Do It!’ List, and more!