“…give thanks in all circumstances;
for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
I Thessalonians 5:18 [NIV]
When our oldest was only one year old, the words of our pastor prompted me to begin praying for a thankful heart in my child. I continued this prayer as we added each additional child. Four kids (and an equal number of darling granddaughters) later, I’m still praying for thankful Macfarlan hearts.
You may ask, “Why thankfulness?”
The first (or most obvious) response might be the blessing released to others. That is true, and that is important. Others are blessed when we express gratitude.
But I’m also convinced that thankfulness is a blessing to the one releasing it. Thankfulness protects against entitlement, materialism, and selfishness … all dangerous to the character of a child. The 21st-century culture of our western world makes our children vulnerable to “me-ism.” I’m convinced entitlement, materialism, and selfishness are the default in our society, but our prayers can combat these unfortunate norms.
These days, it’s easy to blame social media or commercials and advertisements for the extreme self-centeredness so evident in society, but we can’t forget that entrenched behavior and sinful human nature have always pointed us toward selfishness. The world—and our own hearts—will corrupt and entice all of us to make it all about us. It’s natural and easy to elevate self in this “selfie” world.
But never underestimate the power of a praying woman! We can best fight the culture on our knees. And we can train up kids to be more selfless in this selfish world.
As we consider praying our children are thankful, consider these prayer prompts:
- Lord, give my child a thankful heart. (I Thessalonians 5:18)
- Jesus, let my kids see that every good gift comes down from above. (James 1:17)
- God, I pray my grandchild would intentionally release thankfulness to others.
- Holy Spirit, I pray our family would be thankful in “all circumstances” – by faith, believing that You can and will work all things out for our good and for Your glory. (Romans 8:28)
As we pray, we can also put feet to our prayers by taking these practical steps to teach thankfulness to our children and grandchildren:
- Do not overindulge in “stuff” but show love in creative ways. (The grandmas out there know what a challenge this can be!)
- Choose at least one night per week to pray “Thank you” prayers. Rather than asking God for something, take turns thanking Him for what He has already done for the blessings of the day. Teach them to pray thank-you prayers for big and small things:
➡“God, thank you for the rain that is helping the grass grow and turn green.”
➡“Jesus, thank you for the baby growing in Aunt Denise’s tummy.”
➡“Dear Lord, thank you for our fun afternoon in the park and for the friends we met there today.” - Train your child to respond with thankfulness:
- Write thank you notes together with your preschooler—allowing him or her to add their name to the note with your help.
- Assist elementary-aged kids or grandkids in writing thank you notes to their teacher, coach, and/or the sponsor of their soccer team.
- Train teenagers to write thank you notes before using that gift card or depositing the birthday or graduation check.
- Model thankfulness. Most character traits are more “caught than taught,” as the late Dr. James Dobson said on many occasions.
- Sit down together to write thank you notes after Christmas. Serve hot cocoa and cookies and make it a fun family time!
- Let them hear you intentionally thank your pastor or Bible study leader for what you learned from this week’s teaching.
- Thank them for big and small things when you notice they got it right:
➡“Thank you for helping unload the groceries from the car.”
➡“Thank you for being kind to your sister.”
➡“Thank you for taking your plate to the sink without being asked.”
- Look for chances to express thanks in public. Ask to speak to the manager when dining out and enjoy seeing his/her face transform from dread to delight when you say, “Our family had such a great meal this evening. Thank you for the good food and excellent service.” On the way home, explain that people always complain when someone gets it wrong, but it’s important to release thankfulness when they get it right!
The importance of thankfulness was a thread woven through the teaching of Dr. Jonathan Burnham, my wise and godly pastor in the early nineties. Over and again he emphasized the theme of thankfulness in his preaching. Even after moving out of state, that emphasis continued to resonate in my heart and be a priority in my prayers.
All these years later, I give glory to God as I see thankfulness demonstrated in the lives of my children. The thank you notes I have received from them are treasures to keep. They are tangible reminders that, while I did many things wrong, perhaps consistent training in gratefulness was one thing I did right.
Whether you are praying thankfulness into your own children or grandchildren, into your nieces and nephews, or the kids who live across the street or sit in the pew behind you, I hope you will pray faithfully. And I hope that we can all see that a society can truly be transformed by an “attitude of gratitude.”
In Daniel 2, King Nebuchadnezzar has a dream. No one can interpret it, but Daniel prays and God provides! We invite you to listen to this week’s teaching lecture from the ladies’ Bible study, as Laura reveals what Daniel does FIRST and then hear the interpretation of the king’s dream:
